Have you ever considered that first guy who said “Hey, those oblong things that come out of a bird’s hind-end? Let’s eat them!” We owe such brave and pioneering daring-do a moment of silent gratitude and maybe a toast or two.
In my youth, the American Egg Board came up with the idea that people needed to know all about eggs so that they would buy more of them. The jingle was “The incredible, edible egg.” What? As opposed to those inedible decorative ones they sell at Kroger too? And what ever is an Egg Board? Don’t they know the egg is a staple food of every civilized society? We don’t see the American Air Board busy marketing air for breathing – we just breath. We don’t have the American Board for Water running commercials telling us how beneficial water is to life on earth- we all know that we need water.
It always confused me why a group from “Big Egg” would spend good money to market eggs to people who, almost universally, already buy and consume eggs. Its like that ridiculous group, the NRA. I pay my dues (only because my range makes me, the real support goes to other, more effective groups), and they spend all of it on marketing to get me to pay my dues! How about stop sending me goofy key chains and get after the lefties in Congress. Alright… rabbit trails. Back to the fowl subject of chicken.
Behold, the Chicken
The chicken, Gallus Gallus Domesticus, is an ancient bird of so many varieties and specialized breeds that they dazzle the mind. They are lovely creatures – intelligent, peculiar in ‘personality,’ social, and vital to man. I’ve known many chickens that were beloved and had names. The fact that I say “I’ve known many chickens” might startle those who live sequestered lives in concrete and asphalt worlds, rarely meeting these birds or staring them in their big, pensive eye. But they are beings, not merely birds.
That’s why its hard to kill ’em. Well, layers, at least. Meat birds are a different social caste of Gallus Gallus. I’ve slaughtered many of them, one time more than seventy in one day. The kids of the proprietor of these seventy chickens were strictly forbidden from naming them, because you do not name food. Only pets. Laying hens and roosters have names. Not food.
One dear young lady I know has a rooster named after a famous general from the War Between the States. That’s what you do with companion birds who bless you with eggs and chicks and lots of laughs, you make them family.
In art, literature and throughout the documented ages, we see the ubiquitous chicken scratching around in the yards and streets of every culture, all the time, forever. Sometimes people even paint pictures of chickens. My kitchen has wooden chickens, chicken-shaped ceramic serving dishes, and pictures of chickens on the walls. A square jar on top of my fridge is capped with a cast iron chicken painted red. They are everywhere. The fruit of the chicken – my dad always called them ‘cackleberries’ – provides dozens of breakfast dishes every day, make baking possible, and can be transformed into a myriad of condiments and dressings. How can the world continue to spin on its axis without the occasional ham and cheese omelette or delicate crepe? Everyone on planet Earth knows this. That is, apparently, everyone except the Egg Board.
And when the producing bird finally gives out? It will be stew or stock! The dead bird is itself a staple food; in fact, I am grilling some tonight. Where would we be without fried chicken, General Tso’s Chicken, or chicken and dumplings? Some great toastmaster needs to compose an ode to the noble chicken.
White Meat
But for such a wonderful bird, I rarely have anything pleasant to say about white meat. Give me a chicken thigh ( and a drumstick. I know that a juicy and flavorful breast can be achieved by some master of cooking, which, it should be apparent, I am very far from. However, in my experience, what people serve up is almost always a dry, over-cooked slab of meat that has a grain like compacted boar’s hair. This tough, dry bird-breast is then slathered with a layer of herbed oil, sauce or packaged gravy mix in order to provide lubrication so you can choke it down. Folks smile at one another like a dinner party in an old Three Stooges episode as they eat the meal, wishing they had stopped at a burger joint on the way home from work. When someone says “chicken breast,” that’s what I think. Over-boiled or oven-dried, flavorless, tough, dry meat that sucks all the moisture out of your mouth with the first bite.What a shame to dishonor a noble fowl by petrifying its finer parts.
Those are my thoughts about it. I’ve gnawed on some bad chicken in my life. The good news is that its just a generalization. I am cooking chicken breast on the grill tonight, in fact. There are, I learned, methods to avoid the dreaded flavorless hunk. I’ve never mastered many of them, but I’m getting there. Every now and then I really nail it. Juicy white meat and excellent flavor! Boom!
Here are some things I am learning that you probably already know.
Thermometer
The biggest boost to my white-meat cooking track record has been the acquisition of a meat thermometer. The first reason most chicken breast is dry is that it gets over-cooked. What results with over-cooking is a charred piece of meat or an oven-baked, off-colored jerky. People fear the salmonella, and so they cook poultry utterly to death. Doing so cooks out the lovely juices that are vital if chicken is to be not only palatable, but delicious.
My cooking thermometer is not fancy, I think it was $12 on Amazon. Its an instant read, digital thermometer and I recommend this over the dial types, which I have also used. The probe gives a really quick and accurate reading of internal temperature and even has a guide to what meats are done at what temp. I think the guide errs on the high side by five degrees, but you’ll get the hang of it with a little practice. Insert the probe into the meat, look at the temp, and when its approaching the target temp, the meat is perfectly cooked, get it off the heat and let it rest. Easy – winner, winner, chicken dinner.
That’s the first life-saving and chicken saving tip. Do not over-cook, get a thermometer.
Pounding helps with flavor
All the chicken breasts I have ever seen had a thin pointy end and a thick round end. You will cook it so that the thick part is done throughout, right? But that leaves the thin part curled up and carbonized like a hunk of Kingsford briquette. Put the breast in a large plastic baggie to contain the splatter, take the smooth end of a meat tenderizing mallet, and pound that chicken to be mostly the same thickness. I like about three-quarters to one inch thick. Use a rolling pin if you have no proper mallet.
The pounding process also has the beneficial side effect of breaking up the muscle fibers and bringing out the natural striations in the flesh. This means when you season and marinate it, there is more surface area to absorb the flavor and to retain moisture, It sounds counter intuitive – making meat thinner to be more moist – but we are talking about even cooking more than anything else.
Chick’n Flavor and Marinades
Third, you must avoid plain, dull, primitive meat. Neanderthals descending from the brilliance of Adam to primitive, squalid conditions. And indeed, they surely had limited resources and a legitimate excuse for bad food. Meat-on-a-stick held over a dung fire is not an option for a Christianized people celebrating the privileges of dominion. Praise God for spices. Let’s have another toast!
In general, I have always viewed white meat as just a vehicle to carry applied or infused flavor. Sort of like how most plain breads are best employed as a utensil to absorb a luscious sauce. But the common chicken has its own flavor, despite what people think. Otherwise, people wouldn’t use it as the baseline by which all other meats are compared. You have heard “Oh yeah, rattlesnake tastes just like chicken.” Uh-huh, no. Only wild fowl has real flavors that the western tongue can instantly identify. To us, chicken is sort of the baseline and so common we do not even notice the taste of it. Eat a frog leg and you immediately know that it has a delicate and wonderful flavor to the meat all by itself. Chicken, to most folks, have the lowest, boringest, plainest flavor labeled “Chicken.” That’s why you look for the Beef and Oriental and Shrimp flavored Ramen Noodles and leave the Chicken flavor behind.
Overcome chicken-flavor complacency by butchering and eating a non-store bought chicken, especially a lean, free-ranger that lived a happy life chasing bugs, eating garden weeds and enjoying exercise. That is the chicken of choice. (Remind me to tell you my chicken-for-work story one of these days.) Buy the best chicken you can get. I hate to support the big chicken industry giants. Their practices do not honor God’s mandate that we respect all life, and they have dishonest scales and balances in violation of Proverbs 11:1. Check out the packages, “X Percent Saline Injected” they say. That’s not to make it better tasting, its to make it weight more so that you pay more. But even so, its not always possible to avoid Tyson or Pilgrim’s Pride. I avoid it when I can.
My mother never did achieve a chicken breast wherein the flavor penetrated past the first millimeter of the surface. I ate some nasty chicken at my senior prom and the Royal Ball during my high school years. But of late, I’ve had some good herb-flavored and marinated grilled breasts, especially when cooked with powerful plants like Rosemary and garlic. But in general, my white meat experience has been bleak and underwhelming. But in the last several years, I have found better cooking methods and learned to refine my techniques enough to make some great white meat. Among these are a nice Chicken Parmesan that was a great hit with the whole family. It ranks among the greatest dishes I ever served. One day I’ll have guests and this will be the meal du jour. Everyone will be required to speak in Italian accents at the table and I’ll hire an accordion player for the entertainment.
The other great thing I’ve stumbled upon is this marinade for grilling. It is also a great hit with my people, and it gets requested, not merely endured. I found it online, but I’ve tweaked it to my own liking, and its a fantastic way to get a marvelous, sweet, tangy flavor into white meat so that you are sure to take care cooking it to perfection. A cook doesn’t want this stuff to go to waste. Enjoy this wonderful marinade and say a prayer of thanksgiving each time you put your face close to the bowl and whiff deeply!
Chicken Marinade for Grilling
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup brown sugar (I always add an extra dash of Brehr Rabbit Molasses syrup)
- 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar (Even the infused ones work fine, like Pomegranate Balsamic Vinegar. I’ve not noticed any differences in varieties)
- 1/2 cup soy sauce (I use light Kimlan soy sauce)
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
- 4 cloves garlic, chopped or pressed or grated, your choice.
- 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper (Cayenne is better, to taste, I use both actually)
You can use this recipe for 5-6 breasts. Pound them out to a consistent 1″ or slice the breasts into 1×1 thick strips. If I have some diced green onions or fresh chopped basil, I toss it in too. You can really gain from the fresh basil, it will impart a very faint aroma. If you really love basil, I liken its use in this recipe as that faint but enrapturing scent that your beloved used to wear in those golden days of youth. Basil is a powerful and beautiful addition to this marinade. Don’t bother with dry basil, all the essential oils in the dried and crushed leaf are bound up like plastic resins and don’t release well.
Marinate in a Ziploc bag for several hours, I usually do 4-5 hours. Grill over red-hot charcoal. Works well even with dark meat.
This is a marinade which does the white meat right. Even if you over-cook the meat, and for me that is more often than not, it will still give the chicken a nice flavor and make incessant chewing of dry meat tolerable. When you nail it though, and get a juicy, perfectly grilled breast, this marinade will have your people encouraging you to start a cooking blog.
Alysheba Kitchen 